I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
