I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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