I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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