Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
