If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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