i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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