So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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