Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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