You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize