So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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