Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
