Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
