where does the pee come out of this thing
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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