she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
