We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Blood and glitter go together right?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize