I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
