it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
