Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
