We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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