$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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