hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
