Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
