Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
