I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
