we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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