It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Farmville is her only friend.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
