dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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