my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize