We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
