People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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