i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
