Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
