And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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