You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
