her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
