I wannas sexs uuuuu
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How does it feel to date your dad?
i believe in u and ur pee
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
