at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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