Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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