Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
