I'm lost and stupid without you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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