I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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