I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You ruined the universe
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
