oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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