I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize