She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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