All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
id be glad to
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
