I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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