I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
