Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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