shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
