she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize