Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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