So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Four minutes until I can fart!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
