We're facebook friends in real life
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
