The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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