why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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