You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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