Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
