Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
