we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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